Monday, November 23, 2009 &
I’ve been holding back the tears for a few days now. But just couldn’t hold them any longer. Tears appeared in the lonely bus ride home. Sounds gay? Haha, maybe, because I’m not half the man I used to be. Wanna know why? Coz I died the day you stopped caring, I did. And you know, it’s not your fault. It’s mine. I’ve been like this for 17 years now.
You see I have a problem. My problem is, I can’t trust anyone. I may have a lot of friends but I can’t think of one person who I know I can trust a hundred percent. Whom I know got my back no matter what. It’s this fear inside me, this fear that eats me up every time. Coz inside I always wonder what if someone gives away my secrets. Let it be the smallest thing, but this fear’s the same for every single thing. Holding back myself from trusting anyone. Deep inside, I’m just lonely. I have so many things that I’d like to share, but this fear, doesn’t let me live. 17 years of suppressing happiness and sorrow inside you, makes you go crazy after awhile.
Then I met a friend about two years back, someone who taught me how to trust. Felt good, really nice to know that there’s finally someone whom I can trust. Well we fell apart soon after. And I learnt a lesson. I’d rather be all alone, keeping things to myself, rather than to have a friend walk out on you. Coz it hurts when people leave. Oh yeah, I have this other problem too: I grow very fond of the people who I think I can trust. So if you don’t intend to stay, please don’t make me trust you.
Step into my world. This scary and crazy place where it feels like everyone is out there to get you. Under the rule of a king named Fear. You’re all alone, no one beside you. Occasionally you see a person or two. They talk to you, but you know you’re never to speak to them. Coz when you turn around they might just stab you with a screwdriver.
To all the people who asked if I’m alright, sometimes it’s easier to just say you’re fine rather than to tell all the reason why you’re not.
Cheers (:
my world is so lost & without you; 3:27 AM
OMFG!
Liverpool 5-0 Singapore
Singapore got a thrashing from liverpool.
Went to national stadium with my dad to catch the match live!
Woot! Damn exciting!
(I still am)
Reached there about 4.30,was fucking hot, like seriously.
Soon the stadium got filled up and when the players reached the stadium,
the crowd went wild and also during the training.
I saw, TORRES,ALOSO,CARRAGHER,MASCHERANO,BENAYOUN,REINA,AGGER,REIRA,BABEL and many more!!!
The match was exciting, but didnt really see the first goal as it was the other side.
BUT THE REST OF THE GOALS WERE ON MY SIDE!
The crowd went crazy when Torres and Alonso came onto the pitch!
And wow, when the kop sang You'll never walk alone, IT WAS AMAZING!
The song is stuck in head now.
There were some fools who wore man u jerseys to the match.
The whole stadium jeered them, literally.
The crowd started singing
"Who the fuck are man united?"
LOL
There's this singapore player who got boo-ed coz he's a man u fan who made some bad comments about liverpool.
Loser.
When I saw Riera score i was expecting a replay,
but than it struck me that im watching a live game,lol
Im so used to watching goals on replays la.
My first soccer match and i got to see my favourite team in action!
Anyway took some pics, prolly upload on fb.
YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE.
my world is so lost & without you; 7:49 AM
HEY PEOPLE, SARAH'S HERE. AND YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT?
:D
I ROCK! AND ARVIND AGREES THAT I ROCK :D
okay, byeeee peopleeee :D
my world is so lost & without you; 11:29 PM
Her's something i wrote,
Why am I always stuck in the middle
Just stonning as the world revloves
This all seems to me like a riddle
So hard and one that I cannot solve
But life has to go on doesnt it
A law of nature we all abide
And as days pass i seem like a misfit
I'm standing on neither side
But one thing will never change
The damage done will always remain
And things now turn a little strange
I sit and watch the cycle repeat again.
-Arvind
my world is so lost & without you; 7:46 AM
Saturday, April 18, 2009 &
Thurs went out with azfar to check out Uniqlo,
The no 1 jap casual clothing store that just opened in singapore.
Not bad,when they say casual they really mean casual.
Bought two tees.
man iv'e been spending money like its free or something
Some of the things I bought
Jeans-$130
Shoes-$100
$230 worth of tees.
Still mujst get laptop bag and some laptop stuff also.
Man, i need to get a job.
Funny thing happned on thurs
Me:(buying food at QiJi)
Azfar:(eating)
Group of girls walk in
Azfar and me:(look at them)
Than i sat down and took a bite from the kaya toast i bought
Me: Not bad ah
Azfar: Which one, the one in the dress ah?
Me: I talking about the bread la!
LOL
Went out with hider to central to chill,
Than while walking past the shops i noticed one shop.
It said 'UNISEX' saloon.
It was a hand written sign, big big.
But it wasnt written properly and the way it was written was like this,
U N I SEX saloon.
The u,n and the I had big gaps.
So its like
"U" N "I" SEX saloon.
After i told that to hider we couldnt stop laughing
lol. Than left for home,
Quickly bathed changed and left for town.
I was still wet when i was on the mrt, haha
Met bruce,sunaryo and azfar at cini.
Its been so long since we went out together
Reminded us of secondary school times,
All the stupid things we used to do in class.
Good times man.
Went to eat at lido than went to haji lane to smoke shisha,
Orange flavour not bad, next time its grape!
Man they have good cheese fries there, seriously.
So we shisha-ed, ate, drank and chilled.
Than we left for mrt.
Than when me bruce and yao alighted at amk,
Something extremely shocking happened.
The doors were closing and this china dude ran in but the door closed on him,
So half body inside, half outside,
Than he managed to sqeeze in, but his leg was still stuck.
Seriously we were stunned and just stood there and bruce was like
'Shit, Shit!' lol,
than two guys from inside the mrt managed to pull open the door.
Lucky for that guy man, got his leg saved!
Than i realised, there are two types of people,
One, they get stunned and just stop,
Two, the get stunned but manage to react.
Better to be the latter.
Tired,Tired,Tired
And schools start tmr!!!
Poly life here I come!
Woot!
my world is so lost & without you; 7:56 PM
Woah, what a night yesterday!
The Oasis concert was fucking AWESOME!
Woot!
And to hear my favourite song live was just ecstasy,
Don't Look Back In Anger!
Halfway through the song Noel said
"What's that fucking wheelchair for?" and
"Aww, someone had a stroke", lol.
They have a new drummer who is really good.
I like the way Liam just stands still after his songs,
But i still prefer Noel's voice.
They played good and the whole concert was just awesome.
Nostalgia at its best!
OASIS LIVE FOREVER.
my world is so lost & without you; 9:25 PM
Can't wait for OASIS Live in Singapore,
This sunday, woot!
I get to see my fav band live!
YAY!
my world is so lost & without you; 7:29 AM